this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Randomize
