We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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