In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
