I wish i was in the wii world.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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