everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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