At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
