They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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