I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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