So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
