Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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