Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
