just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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