they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Randomize
