Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
