two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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