Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
