She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
