This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
