I looked at my own cervix.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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