I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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