i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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