We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Boobs speak an international language.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
