Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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