Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
