I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
