You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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