After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
