So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
