Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
