I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
