you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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