my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
