she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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