i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
