If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I am available for nakedness
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
