Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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