the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
