Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
not ubering you a puppy
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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