I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize