After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
