it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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