You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
