I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
