Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
