just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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