my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
