i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she pinky promised me she was 18
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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