I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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