dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
