Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
